To begin with let me state that nothing I am about to say has been tested or proven to work. Nor has it been Dis-proven to work, mostly because know one will give me a chance. This is all based on my observations and knowledge. This comes from my unique insight and my personal hindsight.I think of myself as a protector of people with challenges. Challenges of all types all shapes and all sizes. As a 30 year-old man with autism, I’ve lived this story so here is my take on how to parent children. Walking in your child’s shoes will be key. As will patience, imagination and yes, lots of love.
To be a successful parent to your children, here are my suggestions:
Help them, make them feel good, important, needed, happy, and productive–these feelings are crucial PERIOD. It is highly recommended that you relate to them, pretend you are them, and observation is essential. Notice everything and communicate properly.
Probably very soon you will encounter and have to deal with behaviors that are very, very unfamiliar and unpredictable, with absolutely no pattern whatsoever. Keep in mind and remember that each disability is very, very different and has different levels, versions, and significance’s, and thus requires different approaches that will counter each behavior. That comes from their own challenge.
Here is something, though, that never ever works with anyone. This includes people with challenges, as well as people in general. Never ever use force–in any way, in any shape, and in any form! Using force is the totally wrong wrong wrong approach and will make everything much much worse for everyone.
Here’s a better way. Let’s say your child who has a disability loves, loves, loves Rock and Roll, do not use Rock and Roll as a reward for making the bed, in the beginning. Instead use the their love for Rock and Roll to get them to make the bed, in the following way: make your child or children believe that the Rock and Roll performer is a very neat person–that to the performer making his or her bed is more important then anything else in between the performer’s singing career. Of course, most of us will do stuff to get stuff we want. And make people we care about happy. But it has to be explained creatively and according to the child. Do this with as much emotion, feeling, and drama as possible. Make it immensely believable!
You could convince them that making the bed will make the bed happy! You could do this by making it seem as though the covers and sheets and bed have feelings. Say that their bed and bed stuff are crying. Are you just going to abandon them? They need your help. They want to be with each other very closely. The bed itself is freezing to death. It needs the covers and sheets to keep it warm.
Another way is to turn it into a challenge or test. Make it as though it is an NBA game, each player and team tries their very very best because they want to win. So use that same theory and analogy to make them believe that making the bed is a very hard thing to do. And make it seem like you do not believe they are capable of accomplishing such a feat. Hopefully they will then want to prove you wrong.
Lastly find a way to hide a Rock and Roll CD or something in the bed. Be creative. All the above will help people who have autism. And give them a major, very powerful, unexplained, and indescribable, useful key to their own door, chains, hand cuffs, and shackles. That immensely restrains all autism victims. This will unlock everything. What matters is the way, the method, and how you communicate what you want your child or children to do. This will determine if they listen or not. The important thing is the tactic, the strategy, and the plan you use.
If you use a tactic that is not effective with your child or children, it is extremely important that you do not allow them to realize that. Make sure you say to yourself, ” OK. That did not work so what can I do now?” Stay calm, cool and collected, and keep a level head– do not panic. Instead transform the current situation into a big success. Do this by taking advantage of what you know now, compared to what you knew then.
For instance, lets say you want your child or children to go to bed at 8pm and it is 7:45pm right now. So your child (or children) has 15 minutes. What can you, the parents, or care givers do? How can you successfully get them to adhere and listen? Without having any fight whatsoever? One such way is to threaten them with grounding them. But take my word for it! That category is filled with problems and errors. Here is a way that will work and that is positive and helpful in all aspects. Allow them to listen to music while they are in bed. Either from a TV, CD player, and head phones, or an i pod. Chances are the music will help them get to sleep faster rather than without it. It is vitally important that when you are trying to get your children to do something that you think of positive ways to get them to not only do what they have been asked to do but to want and enjoy doing what you want them to do.
For all of this to happen, it is very highly recommended that you use tailored tactics and to communicate properly according to his, her or their own unique personality and likes.
A wise person once said, “You get more flies with honey than with vinegar.” This may be especially true when you’re dealing with the challenges of parenting children with autism.
Thank You and Happy Parenting!
In developed nations up to 14% of economically engaged people with disability run their own business or are self employed. As opposed to only 8% of economically engaged non disabled people.
US and worldwide studies of working age people with disabilities show consistent & continuing patterns of unemployment for these individuals, as compared to their non-disabled working peers.
The UN Millennium Development Goals Report indicates the unemployment rate for people with disabilities as high as 90% in some of the world’s developing countries. Globally, there are over 750 million persons with disabilities, and around a third of these are people between the ages of 18-30.
According to the UN World Program Action for Youth, nearly 80% of young adults with disabilities live in developing countries forming a significant proportion of the youth population in every society. Despite being the world’s largest minority, appropriate employment and educational programs for persons with disabilities of any age are largely ignored. People with disabilities are amongst the most marginalized and poorest of the world’s adults. Adult education related to starting a business or improving chances for meaningful employment is even more critical for realizing the full potential of adults with disabilities than it is for their peers.
More than 98% of people with disabilities of any age in developing countries do not attend school. Not receiving skills and qualifications to function in the wider society, limits the employment opportunities for PwDs. Unemployment rates for persons with disabilities are higher than the non-disabled population in every society and discrimination and negative perceptions pose a formidable barrier to otherwise capable people considered to be disabled looking for employment.
The US Bureau of Labor Statistics provides monthly updates on employment for members of the workforce who have disabilities. These data have been available to the public since October 2008 and have helped confirm what has long been assumed or suspected- labor market participation for PwD is extremely low. Over the past year, active workforce participation hovers consistently around 22%, 77% of people with self-disclosed limitations to major life activities are “not in the workforce and unemployment rates are currently an unacceptable 50% higher than those workers without disabilities.
alt text for the image us unemployment comparisons showing rates between disabled=
Is this really the best we can do?
As one can see, unemployment levels for workers without disabilities has held steady around 9%, while for people with disabilities there have been wide fluctuations ranging as high as 17% to just under 14%. Combine these dismal numbers with only 1 in 5 PwD working in either part of full time employment, and the conclusion is America has a long way to go to reach meaningful workforce participation rates among US citizens identified as having conditions of disability.
Deep cutbacks in public and government funding have seen a reduction and elimination of grants, loans, and vendor contracting sources that served as employment-generators, business incubators, and direct services for people with disabilities.
The overall inability of the government and business communities to provide seed or sustaining funding continues to limit traditional avenues to job placement, self-employment, and start up entrepreneurial businesses for all sectors and classes of workers- especially those with barriers to employment due to disability.
Despite the demise of many exemplary programs, there are some continuing regional efforts to address employment inclusion and self-employment for people with disabilities such as the US Chamber of Commerce for Persons with Disabilities and internationally through organizations such as Leonard Cheshire Disability International.
Recently, more attention is being directed at improving employment activities and public awareness coordinated by federal interagency and community-based organizations through advertising/marketing campaigns such as “What Can You Do?” and “Think Beyond the Label.” In the public sector, the Obama administration’s stated policy position seeks to have the federal government set a leadership example by hiring 100,000 new federal employees with disabilities.
The US Business Leadership Network (USBLN) has been a committed partner in making convincing business cases for hiring qualified applicants with disabilities, establishing a national footprint of disability-confident employers, and recently set up a supplier diversity program for entrepreneurs with disabilities to become recognized as nationally certified disability-owned business.
While encouraging, these nascent efforts could be leveraged further through the development of a Global Network for Entrepreneurs with Disabilities. People with disabilities cannot and should not wait for government intervention to comprehensively implement disability and inclusive business development policy and practice.
The Global Network for Entrepreneurs with Disabilities is a newly formed organization which recognizes that is it within our capabilities to initiate a call to action- to challenge and change international policy, practice, and participation of disabled people in developing and building their own successful businesses.
I have an idea regarding education. I got this idea because of my immeasurable and amazing insight hindsight and research capabilities My take on education is in order for people to actually go to school want to learn and be able to learn it it first off has to be taught to the student in such a way that they understand it comprehend it and know it for this to happen the following teaching strategy should be implemented education should be a fusion of fun and learning regardless of if you’re at a high grade level high intellect low grade high intellect case(s) whatever the circumstance(s) etc. The best way to teach someone is to teach them in such a way where they don’t realize they are learning. My suggestion is for example take a geometry class for example, geometry is so boring the way it is being taught now. But what would happen if the class was allowed to watch, play or read material that at first glance may not seem educational but in reality is. For example Take the movie game and book series The Lord of the Rings. What if after watching playing or reading material of that series the class had to come up with their own shapes however they want to regarding the Swords and so on in that multi format series. They can picture them in their heads, draw them on paper, however they want to go about it. Then they have to come up with their own questions and answers based on the shapes that they made from which ever imaginary and not real weapon they chose. What would decide their grade is how well they stayed within the weapons shape possibilities. And just in case you are still skeptical about this. Just in case you’re thinking in your head how can he possibly know this would work without any previous knowledge, training, or experience, just in case you’re thinking those two things. Here is something that will hopefully put your mind at ease. Let’s say there is someone who lied about graduating from Harvard Law this person forged and made his transcripts, diploma, and everything, look 100% identical to the real thing. When the time was write this person started a law firm practice, which at the beginning was very small. But because of this persons amazing naturel talents that this person was born with, this person made the practice go international in under 6 years. But this person eventually made a mistake. Which led to powerful people finding out that graduating from Harvard Law was a lie. Would the lie out way the success or would the success out way the lie? and do you or do you not think that this persons actions are justified because of how much school costs, because of prerequisites, and because of society for the most part not caring about naturel born talents, and instead caring about cold hard evidence. In conclusion I firstly believe we have a long long way to go secondly there has to be a way for people to learn the way they want to learn it is our own fault that we are ranked so low education wise in all educational aspects because of the way we go about teaching prerequisites and everything education related should be made to fit and match the students interests abilities learning styles degree aims etc. all that counts is the tactic strategy and way we go about things that’s all Does anyone have any questions?